I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
