apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize