I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
