sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Randomize