Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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