Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just forgot I was standing up.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize