Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
