Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm both gender and math confused
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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