we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
