hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
