I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
