ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
