If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
