i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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