just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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