He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
