1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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