Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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