is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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