You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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