My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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