i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
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I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
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Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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