you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I will be naked everywhere
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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