Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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