u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
