Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
