I accidentally burped into my bong.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
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she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
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I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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