For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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