It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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