What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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