i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize