New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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