get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
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i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
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Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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