I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
why is half of my head shaved?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
