thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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