This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize