Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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