yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
