go do what you do best...puke behind churches
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
