i can't believe i had my finger in that
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
