Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
