Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
