I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
third nipple confirmed
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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