When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
