im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
