i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
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When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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