dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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