i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
