i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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