So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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