I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
